CANCER
OR THE DESIRE TO BECOME UNREMARKABLE
In 2022 I was diagnosed with colon cancer and went on a journey of radiotherapy, chemotherapy and eventually surgery.
Below is a post I made on instagram in the hope of spreading awareness about the rise in colon cancer and to shake up or scare anyone into action if they'd been putting off a visit to their doctor.
In retrospect it was also greatly cathartic - the response was overwhelming and rewarding all at once. I still get people sending me messages about their colonoscopy results or a visit to the GP they had been putting off till reading my post. And I cherish each and every interaction.
During treatment I was really unable to do or create much, and taking a few photos on the way to and from treatment, or while in hospital, was my only outlet. As always...I only wish I'd taken more photos!
So here is my original post, archived with some of the photos I took during treatment. It seemed important to keep it here.
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***ORIGINALLY POSTED July 27th 2023***
CANCER SUCKS.
Forgive me the long message, but I’m struggling to make this any shorter. Here goes…
I have cancer. It fucking sucks. Chemotherapy really fucking sucked. It’s been just shy of a year since this all begun and today I will finally be having surgery.
About a year ago I went to the doctor feeling something wasn’t right. I’d ignored a bunch of signs for way too long. Something I’ll regret forever. One test led to another, falling like dominoes, till I found myself waking up from a colonoscopy to the words “I’m sorry, but you have cancer”. Not a fun vibe. Don’t recommend.
The image above was taken at my first chemotherapy infusion late last year. I had just completed short course radiotherapy and was relived to be doing something that felt proactive. Little did I know just how sick treatment would make me.
The intervening months have been fucking horrible. Not just on me, but on those closest to me. And I may write more about the experience in the coming weeks. But for now - what I really came here to say is TAKE YOUR HEALTH SERIOUSLY.
Don’t take your health for granted like I did. Don’t ignore unexplained and persistent changes to your body. Don’t ignore symptoms by brushing them aside as ‘just what getting older must be all about!’. Idiot. Don’t avoid your GP. Get those annual check ups as needed!
And please…with regards to colon cancer - don’t shy away from getting a colonoscopy whenever it gets recommended. Especially if you are in your 40s.
Fun Fact: COLON CANCER is inexplicably on the RISE in people younger than 50.
Every doctor I’ve seen has mentioned this increase as significant. They don’t know why yet - they just know it’s happening. In 2021 the screening age for those at average risk was lowered to 45 in the US. Prevention and early detection are your best defence.
Hindsight is 20/20 - but I can’t tell you how much I regret ignoring some obvious signs. This included unexplained weight loss, black outs, loss of energy, abdominal pain, and changes to my bowel movements including blood towards the end. Real talk.
It seems so obvious stacking it all up like that…but this was all spread over a long period of time.
Had I seen a doctor sooner, a simple colonoscopy to remove early detected polyps would have been an easy day procedure. I would have avoided months of agonising treatment and side effects and would have avoided the current predicament I find myself in: surgery that may leave me with a permanent colostomy bag. Fun times.
Had I waited 6 months longer, who knows what barrel I’d be staring down. Thankfully that’s not the case.
I’ll say this much….waking up from a colonoscopy and being told they “removed 7 polyps BUT you have a ‘mass’ that will need surgery” is not a fun vibe. Less fun was the look on my wife’s face when she came to pick me up, asked how it went, as I mumbled the words “We need to talk in the car”.
Fun Fact: They call it a ‘mass’ till pathology confirms it as a ‘tumour’ - but I knew what the gastroenterologist meant given the look on his face.
Even worse than this was the week or so that followed. Spent waiting for CT/MRI results to shed light on whether the tumour had spread further a field. At this stage I’d become accustomed to every test and result coming back worst case scenario and saw no reason the next one would be any better. So I was truly expecting the worst. There’s nothing like googling CANCER SURVIVAL RATES at 2am when you can’t sleep, then sitting in the dark reading various combinations of months to years and waking up the next morning to drop your 3 yr old daughter off at pre-school. Don’t recommend.
That said - I’ll never forget finally getting the initial CT results back...
Lungs - Unremarkable.
Liver - Unremarkable.
Bones - Unremarkable.
Lymph Nodes - Unremarkable.
Reproductive Organs....unremarkable. Haha. I’ll take it!
And so on and so forth down the long list of organs checked. Nothing to report other than the colon cancer we already knew about.
Honestly, I’ve never been so proud to be described as UNREMARKABLE on a report ;)
So here I am preparing for surgery this morning.
Hours ago I said good night to my 3yr old daughter and told her I’d be away for a few days while the doctors fix my tummy. All she was concerned about was whether or not they would give me breakfast at the hospital in the morning. Bless.
Thankfully, surgery should rid me of the cancerous bastard tumour that remains inside me, but it will come at a cost due to the size and location of my tumour.
As I look down at my tummy there are two big X’s marked on either side ready for the surgeon to choose between (pending how surgery goes). A proper A or B scenario.
The left X will leave me with a PERMANENT stoma and colostomy.
The X on my right side will leave me with a TEMPORARY stoma and ileostomy for a year or so.
The fun part?
I won’t know which outcome I’m destined for till I wake up after surgery tomorrow. It’s out of my hands now.
Either way I’ll take what I’m given for the longevity I hope it will bring.
But it’s a real headfuck right now.
So please… Listen to your bodies.
They are temples, but they are fallible.
Make your GP a friend.
And if you notice significant changes to your health…get it checked!
Take it from me…there’s no harm in having a doc tell you that it’s nothing to worry about and that you are truly UNREMARKABLE.
Unremarkable forever!
Peace and Love.
Dave
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PS. For those of you touched by cancer either personally or via a family member, all my love and respect to you. I don’t mean to be insensitive in bringing up cancer this way. I just feel compelled to fly the flag of early intervention while I can.
PPS. None of this is medical advice…yada yada. I’ll say it again: See your fucking doctor!
PPS. Happy to discuss this more here or on DMs and pls know I’m not fishing for sympathy. I’m good. I have wonderful voices around me and messaging me all the time (even if I’m a bit shit replying quickly). Rather, this message is for whomever is reading this, because if even one of you avoids the shit I’m going through via early detection - that would be a victory!
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You can view the original post here: https://www.instagram.com/p/CvMsYF8rDPf/
UPDATE: I'm doing well now. Cancer free and getting blood tests and scans every 3-6 months. What I wasn't prepared for was the long and unexpected mental health journey back to normality. Its an overwhelming thing to go from being solely focused on getting to the next appoitment, the next infusion, or from the couch to the toilet....to suddenly being faced with infinite possibility and no road map on how to start life all over again. I've been lucky to have good people around me helping me, and there's nothing I love more than directing and being on set. So I hope our paths cross sometime! Feel free to ask me all about this, I'm an open book, and I will urge you to get a colonoscopy when the time is right. Here's to staying UNREMARKABLE!
